Be Your Own Kind of Mom

When I became a mom at the age of twenty I received endless advice, as I'm sure all moms do. Quite a bit of that advice made me feel like I'd never measure up. It seemed there was some sort of secret code that all the other moms knew how to solve, but I was left struggling with the solution. There were so many ways to do every single thing – from waking up the children to putting them to sleep and everything in between. As my kids got older, this list only grew longer.

There are so many different types of moms.

For a while, I tried to mimic the lives of moms around me. There were fitness moms, crafty moms, organized moms, relaxed moms, scheduled moms, community-activity moms, baking moms, gardening moms, trendy moms, working moms, stay-at-home moms….. the list was endless. I exhausted myself trying to pull from the best of each of these categories. Eventually, I realized that I was tired and my life felt like a giant life-sized Pinterest-fail board.

I've talked with other moms enough to know that I'm not alone in this. We do this to ourselves and we forget the most basic and important thing about parenting. We forget to be ourselves.

Be yourself.

We are all good at something. The things we are good at won't be the same as other moms around us and that's okay. It's impossible to excel in every category of motherhood. And I think what some of us need is just the permission to take some time to remember that and apply it. We need the permission slip that says: Be your own kind of mom.

Our children hold so many of our traits and qualities.

We can see it in their faces, their choices of activities, the ways they handle pain, hunger, anger, and joy. In fact, most of our kids have a lot of the same hobbies and interests as we do. It sounds like a simple thing to be reminded of, but we often forget that when we're trying to figure out what kind of mom we should be.

Notice and acknowledge what works best.

My boys love to be outside. They both struggled with not wanting to do preschool books and learning from papers. They begged me endlessly to take them outside.

So, out we went.

And in the midst of biking or playing baseball, I found they would learn so much. When we bike after it rains, we talk about earthworms and why they are on the road today, but weren't yesterday. When the baseball rolls into a gopher hole in the ground we talk about why that happened and other facts about gophers. When the snow melts we talk about where it goes and why that happens.

I've learned that I am an outdoor mom and my kids are outdoor kids.

It's where we function the best, learn the best, and grow the best. Sure, there are things that we have to do inside as they get older, but I do my best to embrace the opportunities to utilize my strengths whenever I can.

Celebrate

Take a deep breath. Look around. Acknowledge what you do well. Don't spend so much time focusing on the things that you can't do or think you should do. Celebrate what other moms are doing and, with that, celebrate what you are doing. There's a good chance that someone out there is looking at your life thinking, “She is so good at what she does”.

You cannot be every type of mom.

You shouldn't be every type of mom. We need you to be your type. Your kids need you to be your type of mom. You're so unique and gifted and have so many wonderful things to offer. I bet your kids love the things you do.

• Do you do crafts? Set up a station for them beside you. Chances are, your crafting genes have spilled over into at least one of your offspring.
• Are you into fitness? Let your kids bike or run or play sports with you, they probably love it too.
• Are you a gifted baker? Hand over a few of your measuring cups and see what your little person creates beside you.

Your kids will reap the benefits of your interests.

If they see you enjoying what you are doing, they’ll probably want to join you. Chances are, they will love many of the things you do. Who knows, they might even think you're cool and smart. So focus on your strengths and share them with your children.

Cracking that secret code just takes your own special solution:  Being your own kind of mom.