When Homeschooling Doesn’t Look Like You Thought It Would

Do you ever have one of those days where you look around and wonder, “Is this really my life?”

When you started homeschooling you had this picture perfect image in your head of what it would be like. You felt great! Maybe a little scared but you were doing something for your child that was going to make a difference in their future. You knew this was the right choice.

You pictured the two of you sitting on the couch reading books together; your child gently soaking up the knowledge put before them.

You pictured your child and you doing science experiments and you looked forward to seeing the wonder in their eyes at the reaction. You looked forward to each moment that they learned something new. In your mind, you were giving them that gift.

Let’s Get Real

Fast forward to today. The house is a wreck, the kids just seem to be picking at each other, and you think your child will never get past this chapter in math. You say, “This wasn’t supposed to be my life.”

I never expected my kid to struggle so much in math. I never expected to not have any money for curriculum because my husband got laid off. I never expected to have such a hard time homeschooling while taking care of a baby and a toddler. I never expected my child to actually have a learning disability.

I never expected to feel this way about it. What am I supposed to do now? Is this really my life? What did I do wrong?

What is a Dream?

For whatever reason, we plan our lives and expect them to turn out that way. We have a dream, a vision, in our heart. We think this is a dream or how our circumstances should look. This is where we err. If our circumstances don’t look like the image in our heads, then we think we have failed and we give up on our dreams.

The dream is actually to homeschool. The dream is to give your child a good life. The dream is to make a difference. I have found that dreams NEVER look like we thought they should.

Mourning the Loss of Your Expectations

I’m not talking about mourning the loss of your dreams. I’m talking about mourning the loss of the expectations of your dreams; what you thought they would look like.

This is hard to take. That life doesn’t look like we thought it was going to.

That’s okay. You’re not alone, no one’s does. No matter what they say. Life is not defined by our circumstances. Life is still defined by the dream that still lies in your heart; the same one that was always there.

Be sad. Accept that your expectations weren’t fulfilled. Then accept that your expectations were the problem.

Accepting Your Life

You’ve been given a rare gift. You had a dream in your heart and you were brave enough to pursue it. You chose a good path for your child. You want what’s best for them. You just didn’t accept the circumstances that came your way.

We didn’t know that life was going to be crazy. How did we not know this? Why don’t people just be real and tell us that it’s okay that life is crazy and that’s not bad? It’s actually normal.

Changing the Picture

No, everybody wants everybody else to think that their life is perfect; that their homeschool is picture perfect. Well, we all know it isn’t. That is unless you change the picture. Let’s say that you get really brave and actually accept that everything that happened to you was supposed to happen to you and that they were not mistakes, they are challenges, gifts even.

Challenges and gifts to help you and your child grow together and fulfill the real dream in your heart of a better life, not a perfect picture, the best life.

The best life looks like this:

You just get started in the school year and you have to move. Because of this move, your child’s education gets less attention that you had planned.

Next, you find out your mom is sick and you spend weeks helping take care of her. This also puts a financial stress on your family. So, you spend extra time with your child when you can, helping them catch up where they need to.

You find that the two of you really enjoy this extra time together and make some great memories. Because of all of those visits to your mom’s, your children have grown closer from doing projects together while you were gone and your older child has begun to mentor your younger. They ask if they can have more assignments together.

Because of the financial stress, you don’t have money for curriculum which leads you to your local library to find books where you meet a fellow homeschooler that just moved to the neighborhood. You become friends. You share struggles and she gives you some curriculum for the year.

The Dream Isn’t What You See but Who You Are

You see, circumstances, the hand we’re dealt, really don’t matter. How you choose to face them and deal with them does. You may feel overwhelmed today but let me remind you, you’re doing just fine. In fact, if you choose, you can still, no matter what the mess looks like, have the best life.

I got a secret for you: there’s still some crazy to come. Don’t fear it. Use it. Allow it to help you have the homeschool life you have always dreamed of. No, not that sentimental picture your mind used to have but the real life where things of the heart are what matters and not how things look. I give you permission to love the homeschool life you have. This is only the beginning…