How to Spoil Your Children in 10 Easy Steps

Every perfect parent wants a spoiled child. Here are some tried-and-true methods for raising a brat. :-)

What Will Spoil a Kid

1. Don't Discipline at All

The easiest way to spoil your kids is to steer clear of all discipline. That's right: No consequences, no expectations, no saying “no.” If you must use discipline, remember: always be inconsistent! Use only pleasant words of praise, even if the kids are wrong (Hint: they’re not).

2. Never Assign Chores or Give Responsibilities

Squelch any thoughts of giving your kids responsibilities or chores as they get older. And don’t force them to learn a work ethic, earn money, or clean up after themselves. Kids don't need that pressure. Let them be clingy, helpless, and totally dependant on you, far into their teen years.

3. Encourage Talking Back

Remind your kids they’re the center of the universe. It is unnecessarily to teach them respect for anyone else, especially authority figures. Let kids say whatever they want, however they feel like saying it.

4. Comply with Demands

To ensure your kids know you love them, be sure to give in to all demands. Don't be tempted to damage their fragile sense of well-being by denying them anything, ever. Setting rules and limits is old-fashioned and restrictive.

5. Buy Them Everything

Your kids should lack nothing. Buy everything they see on TV commercials and in stores, and everything their friends have. Plan to fill multiple carts when you shop. The more stuff they have, the better. Discourage gratitude and generosity at every opportunity.

6. Aim to Please Everybody

Be sure to read every parenting article and listen to everybody's opinions. You should strive to always apply every parenting technique. Make sure everyone will approve of the way you raise your kids.

7. Big-Kid Tantrums are OK

Let your older child throw tantrums like a toddler, especially if they're older than 5. They’re just expressing their emotions. Listen with understanding. Act helpless, and give in to their desires whenever possible.

8. Serve Food on Demand

Plan all meals around your kids’ preferences, and be prepared to cook additional food when they don't like dinner. Let kids make all their own food decisions, such as all dessert and no dinner, or more food after they're in bed. Allow limitless snacks. Make teeth brushing optional.

9. Forget Safety

Making rules about safety only smothers a child’s sense of independence. Let them judge for themselves whether something is a wise decision. Children are nothing but little adults, and they will always choose right.

10. Avoid All Discomfort

On the rare occasion your child's choices put them in an uncomfortable situation, don't leave them to “learn from their mistakes.” That’s an outdated idea. It's your duty to rescue them instantly from anything unpleasant. No good parent would allow their child to experience anything uncomfortable for the sake of “learning from consequences.”

What Won't Spoil a Kid

On a final note, there are things that are commonly believed to “spoil” children, but unfortunately have the opposite effect, creating well-balanced, emotionally healthy children. These include:

• Giving children plenty of affection and attention (leads to healthy development).
• Immediately attending to an infant's crying (they are communicating, not complaining).
• Understanding that tantrums are a normal part of going childhood (sorry, but unless it's an older child, tantrums are not a sign that you're effectively spoiling your child).